My Life as A Prisoner

This is very personal for me. It's taken a very long time for me to let my guard down and share this confession.

For decades, I was an unconscious prisoner of my past. I unknowingly allowed circumstances beyond my control to have a direct effect on my life. Some of these things happened to me, while others affected those close to me. I internalized all of it.

What I learned as I became aware of how these things negatively guided my life, I slowly started to chip away at them by shifting my focus and not allowing my past to rule over my present.

It was an arduous undertaking. I had to de- then re-program the way I viewed my past and present life. Let me tell you, it's not an easy thing to do, but when I made it to the other side, it was well worth the effort!

What I realized is that the past is nothing more than history. It only has the power and control we give it. Should we learn from the lessons our past teaches us? Of course we should. But the mistake I made was dwelling on the negative things that happened and used those things as the reason why the present was not as I would like it to be.

Viewing it from a different lens helped me understand and appreciate the value of what I learned while allowing me to keep it in its proper perspective. I read somewhere that when we think of our past, we tend to lean towards the adverse experiences we had. Unchecked, that trauma can leave lasting imprints and lead us down unproductive paths.

Admittedly, there are still times I have to check myself. My mind tries to revert to its former default position and fall into that dreaded victim mindset at times. My daily practice of being mindful and present has trained me to recognize it, stop it, and make a course correction. I am the Executive Producer of that movie constantly playing in my mind!

The main lesson I learned was that my victimhood was self-imposed. That was the hardest thing to come to terms with. It's hard for us to place blame on ourselves, but hard truths create breakthroughs. That's not to say that we're not victimized by others in our lives. How we deal with those circumstances though, is purely based on the choices and decisions we make thereafter. I'm not saying it's easy to not allow victimhood to be our mindset, but it's definitely necessary if we want to come out on top.

Instead of making excuses and rationalizing reasons why things are not right because 'this or that' didn't go a certain way back in the day, I decided to give myself excuses to win! GIVE YOURSELF AN EXCUSE TO WIN! Yes, I'm yelling at you right now! I can't express enough how freeing it is to break self-imposed shackles. You will feel the brakes being released on your life and you will flourish!

However, we all move at different speeds. The methods that work for me may need to be tweaked to fit you. With that said, when it pertains to personal growth and evolution I propose you start small and move slowly. This will allow you to remain fluid with your approach and make necessary adjustments to your methodology as needed.

It's 100% okay to realize that you don't always have the answers. Seek guidance. Find a mentor. Get the help you need to succeed in your new path. Whether it's personal wellness, professionally or otherwise. We all need help sometimes. Let your guard down an you'll be surprised at who is out there to assist you.

Now, I challenge you to:

Identify things in your past that still burden you today.
Create a strategy that allows you to flip that negative on its head.
Come to the realization--that situation is history so there's no need in trying to change it or dwell on it any longer.
Don't use your past as an excuse/reason for failure.
Empower yourself with only excuses to WIN!

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

With Peace and Gratitude,

Coach B. Terry